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How separation affects the children

Imagine, you live quiet comfortable life. You have a good job, house, friends, security. Then suddenly, one day, you lose your job, then your house, friends, and most of all your stability.

Scary, isn’t it? Now imagine this small person, for whom you are the whole life, the security and stability, faces the uncertainty of what his life is going to be like.

How does this little person see his / her parents separating? The world he/she lives in, turns upside down. Everything changes. They rely on you to act in their best interest to keep them safe.

Separation brings about variety of emotions, inter alia … anger, blame… You do not wish to be a couple! It happens…

But ask yourself this one simple question: what about the children. You don’t stop being parents to those little humans and they don’t cease being your children.

Children have a right to a meaningful relationship with both parents. It is not a Parent’s right, but it is certainly the right of a child. A child has a right to have both parent’s present in their life, if possible. The custody can be shared, allowing this little person to spend as much time as possible with each parent. But this is not always a case.  Depriving a child of access to a Parent is considered child abuse, but more about that later….

As a lawyer, I act upon my client’s instructions.

You separated from your spouse/ partner. You seek 50/50 custody of your child.

However, do you ever stop and think, how this situation will affect your child’s everyday life.

50/50 means 7 days out of 14. Does that mean that a child will be living one week with the Mother, and one week with a Father. Don’t get me wrong. It could work, but at what cost.

Your child could be confused. His security would be disrupted.

Imagine, you have a really bad day, you come home and you relax. You treat your home like your sanctuary. Now, put yourself in your child’s shoes. He/she lives in yours and the other parent’s house. Which house is his sanctuary? His safe place? 50/50 custody very rarely works. It causes confusion and often anxiety in your child. It can have lifelong consequences.

Think about it…

On the other hand, are you committed to look after your child on 50/50 basis, 7 days, 7 nights in a fortnight. Not everyone can.   I am not saying it’s not possible, but at what cost.

I will endeavour to get you what you are instructing me to, but will that be in the best interest of your child or yours?

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